Letter to Sharon, my mother-in-love and a wonderful Mamaw...

Today, January 27th, would have been Sharon's 64th birthday...she will be celbrating in Heaven.  We have been without her since November 12, 2009.  Sharon had a mole that was removed from her forearm that turned out to be a melanoma.  Less than 2 years later the cancer in her arm metastasized to her femur and then spread to her liver, lungs and bones.  In late October, I stood outside her hospital room with my husband as the doctor told us she only had weeks to live.  I couldn't believe it...my sweet mother-in-law would be going to Heaven and leaving us behind.  Late on the night of October 27th I cried as I wrote this letter to her.  The next day when it was just us in her hospital room I read it to her.  She thought it was wonderful.  I am putting this on my blog so one day my kids will always be able to remember how special their Mamaw was...

Chad and I married in 2000. I remember getting pictures made on my wedding day and the photographer asked, "Is there anyone else you would like to have a picture made with?" I scanned the pre-wedding crowd looking for Sharon. She wasn't just my mother-in-law but a friend and another mother to me. Since Chad and I dated for 7 years before marriage we were very close.

Dear Sharon,

           I wanted to let you know how much you mean to me and my family.  I have known your for nearly 17 years and I remember exactly where you were when I first met you...laying on the couch at the house on West 77th Street.  Chad and I had gone to church and you had made some yummy vegetable soup that we ate.  It was so good!  Little did I know that I would be meeting my future mother-in-law and my babies’ grandmother that day.

Baby Hayden with Mamaw Sharon in 2002.  She LOVED my babies.

We were always close but when Chad and I were in college is when we got closer.  I remember when you left Howard and came back to Provencal.  I hated that your marriage was ending but excited that we would get to be around your more.  We got really close the semester I had to sit out of school.  I was blessed to be able to stay with you so I didn’t have to be so far away from Chad.  I can think of many good times.  I remember you threw me a surprise birthday party and got me the most beautiful bedding as a surprise.  I still remember walking in that bedroom and thinking that it was like a magazine.  I remember special times of us talking and laughing and me sharing my heart.  That was a fun time!

This picture of Hayden and Mamaw was taken at a 2003 family reunion.  I was always so excited for my kids to be around Sharon because they usually ignored me in favor of their Mamaw.  You can tell how proud she was to show off her grandson!

I think about the day I got engaged and you were there with us to celebrate that special day.  I can still hear your voice on our video tape of the proposal saying “PROPOSE-is that it?!?!?”  A year later Chad and I got married and I really adopted you as my Other Mother.  For our first Christmas together I got you the Other Mother poem that you have hanging in your house.  It so true back then and now, too.

Sharon was never too busy to sit down with my babies.  Here she is reading to Parker.  She loved to spend quality time with them.

Fast forward nearly three years and Chad Hayden came along.  I always knew you would be a wonderful grandmother to my kids.  You were there when Hayden was born and I have you on video looking through the window at the hospital nursery.  You were in awe of this new little life and couldn’t wait to get your hands on him.  Since that time he has been your boy. 

 Since Sharon lived in Natchitoches she would come stay with us for a week every so often.  It was always a sad day when Mamaw left.  We would take her home and my kids would cry "I miss Mamaw!" most of the way home.  We would usually call her to and she would say, "Oh, I want them to miss me but not so much that it makes them cry."

Nearly two years later we were looking forward to having another boy.  You kept Hayden while Parker Reed was being born.  I remember you coming up to see Parker the day after he was born and you were so excited, not only for Parker’s birth but to see Hayden as a big brother.  I can honestly tell you that I could not have survived those first few weeks of Parker’s life without you.  I was exhausted and I remember you would tell me to wake you up when I got done nursing Parker and you would put him to sleep.  That is heavenly help for a new mom.  You and Parker bonded quickly.  I can’t tell you how many times we have left your house and for the whole hour and a half home I’ve heard “I miss Mamaw!” out of his little mouth.  He loves you!

This picture was in May of 2009 before Parker graduated from Mom's Day Out.  For about five visits before this picture I would say..."we have GOT to get a picture of  you with the kids."  Usually, we would forget or she wouldn't have her makeup on or something but this time we made a point of getting the picture.  I'm so thankful for this!

Do you remember when I told you that I wanted you to be my kids grandma even if I didn’t marry Chad?  Ha!  That is funny now that I think about it but it was true.  I had seen you with all the other grandchildren and knew how special they were to you.  I wanted my kids to get in on some of the “Grandma Sharon Love” and they did!  I hope that one day I will be a grandma just like you.  My kids love you not because of the things you buy them or the movies you take them to but because of the quality time you spend with them.  They always know that Mamaw will listen to them talk endlessly about whatever they want to talk about.  You play games with them, color with them and will stay on the phone with them for too long while they tell you silly stuff.  You delight in your grandbabies and they, too, feel the same about you.

You are my mother-in-law.  You are my friend.  I am blessed to have you in my life.

Your daughter-in-love,

Angela

PS...I didn’t even mention that the boys would probably still be wearing diapers if you hadn’t potty trained them.  Thanks!  HA!  Love you!

I also wanted to write this so my boys will never forget...on the Sunday before Sharon died she was in the hospital.  The boys had not seen her since she had been put in the hospital for the final time and I didn't know if they were going to ever see her again.  I was worried about them seeing her in the hospital and that it might scare them but  I couldn't imagine them not seeing her again.  Chad and I talked about it and I ended up taking them to see her in the hospital that Sunday morning.  We got there and she was sleeping and heavily medicated.  We didn't stay long but the boys looked at her and we visited with Krys, who was sitting with her at the hospital.  As we were leaving out the door Parker said, "I love you Mamaw" and she said, "I love you too baby."  Hayden said the same thing, "I love you Mamaw" and she once again said "I love you too baby."  It was one of the last few things she said.  I'm not surprised at all.  She wanted to be remembered by her grandbabies and to leave them with the words "I love you" is what she would have said anytime we got off the phone with her or left her house.  Even though her time with our boys was short (5 & 7 years) she is thought of ALL the time.  We talk about her often and think of special memories with her.

Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? 1 Corinthians 15:55